PLD Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28: It All Starts To Fall Apart Sub-Entry 271: "Into Our Lives a Little Rain Must Fall": April showers bring May flowers. That's a kind way of putting it. So yeah. Here we are in the month of April. The fourth month of the year. The Jangese have a deep apprehension about it. From my understanding, the number four, in Jang language shares the same "Romanized" pronunciation and spelling as the word for "death". Avoiding this number was a common mentality that I'm sure even the Major practiced. What I knew about it was...April was not a favorite month. The past had proven that l would know misery for the duration of it. Last year was...an exception thanks to Asriel's arrival but...I just knew my grace period was over. So to get to the point, it rained and it rained a LOT. It became a real kill-joy in fact. Now, I may be an indoors kind of person, but that doesn't mean that I prayed for rain. In fact when it rained it just brought a sense of gloom. I wouldn't mind it so much if these periods of rain were actually thunderstorms. Then I could take the TV antenna outside and catch a few bolts of lightning. But this was ordinary rain. No electrical activity. Just buckets and buckets of water falling on your head, soaking you to the core, and of course just stopping a lot of activities in their tracks. "Meh." I wrinkled my snoot. I'd noticed things on rainy days. Low barometric pressure, and high humidity. This and other aspects tended to cause the body to react in uncomfortable ways; aches, pains, migraines. Ailments tended to be more prone to occur and annoyingly at that. The phenomenon or ailment was called rheumatism. Was it just my imagination? It couldn't be age. If that were the case I'd have decomposed many a millenium ago. Immortality and all. "Gods this month sucks." But I suppose what made it worse was how complacent it made everyone. Even Asriel was not immune to it. So much so that he didn't feel like coming around the lab or the workshop. I'd offered to take him off world to the X-Vault but he wasn't feeling it. Rainy season was like a vacuum. It just sucked the joy out of everything. Kind of an irony for a weather pattern that restored life to the world. Without rain, plants and vegetation would dry up. Without rain...yeah, I'm not going to give the full lecture. Rain was life. Leave the lessons about nature to Lupe. There's been a weird feeling creeping up in my bones. I'm not sure what it means but...past experiences with trusting my instincts usually indicate something bad is on the horizon. It's superstition, perhaps. I just can't shake the feeling that life is going to tank without warning. Was it...possible that it had already started doing so? April 1st. Earth Prime recognized it as the former date of the Chinese New Year in days past. But it had become known by another name for completely different reasons, completely unrelated to this defunct passing of the old to the new. April Fool's Day. Somehow...this was not a day that was celebrated or even had a counterpart on our world. In fact I was pretty sure I was the only one who knew about it. Yet... "I don't feel much like bringing it to Miranda City. At least...not any time soon." As I write this entry, I can't help but feel like...there's something off about it. But I don't know what it could be. Just because I'm a little blue, doesn't mean that something's wrong, right? It's just...the weather. "What even is the point?" I was oddly feeling a little less determined to get Asriel back home to a timeline that he could rightfully call his. That wasn't out of the ordinary. I still didn't want to let him go. Yet...this was less of a feeling of holding onto who was precious to me...and more a lack of motivation to do the right thing. It was a draining procrastination. As each day went by, I felt less and less desire to tell Asriel the truth when he came of age. I felt like my whole plan had been cut in half and I was okay with abandoning what hadn't been done yet. Was it so wrong to feel this way? "Maybe...I'll see how I feel in another year...or two...or maybe three.......four...no more than five..." As I kept my eyes on the falling precipitation outside the window, I kept waiting for a flash in the dark or a rumble of thunder. But no. Just rain, rain, and more rain. It seemed like the downpour was actually coming down harder and harder. Would it get to the point of being a tropical storm. I felt like looking through archived data of other worlds where there was this much rain. Station One recclaimation plant on Rock's home world back in the N-Division days; once taken over by Dr. Cossack's robot master, Toad Man. Back in the era of a case file was forwarded to us by one Irene Lew, a fortress known as Castle Rock stood in a torential storm--a base reconstructed from the ruins of the temple where the Demon once came back to life. It was raining the night the Delorean was struck by lightning shortly after Marty burned Grey's Sports Almanac, leading to the 1885 adventure. Rain. Always such a bad omen. Why was the planetary method of revitalizing life such a dark and forboding shadow to things to come? "It doesn't look good." I again looked at the memo from the S.T.C. Council. It was looking like this was my final warning. Kommand did all she could...right? Sub-Entry 272: "A Friendship Begins to Fade..." This may come as a total surprise or even a shock. I think...I think Asriel and I are drifting apart as friends. What basis do I have to go on this? It started as just a feeling. Barely the onset of paranoia...wait, that sounds worse. Whatever. As the days started to go by, though, I noticed subtle things. Asriel's happy-go-lucky personality seemed to be less bubbly and excitable around me. I stopped seeing the tail-wagging and stopped hearing the bleats of happiness. He still replied with "cool" and "that's nice"...but the vibe I was getting. Was I finally running out of tricks up my sleeves? "...that's...great, Volt." Also, in case I haven't mentioned it, and I know I did...Asriel's a terrible liar. "Um...anyway. Um...anything you want to do?" "Not really. I think I'm just going to go home. I have homework to get to." "O...kay. If that's what you want. Go ahead, then. I'll...see you tomorrow?" "Maybe, yeah." Maybe? He always answered with "sure thing" or "I'll be there"." "Give Scott and Callie my best." "Okay." "Um...bye." Asriel lazily waved and headed off. I don't know why I'm asking this, as if I expect a reply...but does anyone reading this feel that conversation was awkward? "Tell me I'm not paranoid about this." The feeling that was creeping up...it was almost telling me that Asriel was starting to get bored of me. No. That's silly. He kept an iron grip on his friendship with Chara. Undyne said how often she was horrible to him and he still stayed with her. I had treated him like an angel since we met...why would his affection toward me grow from warm to tepid? I had a seat, hoping one of my other crew would stop by to give me advice. Wow. I had certainly blossomed since I was a kid; in the old days I was actually...pretty shy and antisocial. At times Nermal wasn't sure if I should be diagnosed with ADHD or Asperger's Syndrome. We didn't have Dr. Brighton back then to test for autism. I was just afraid to come out of my shell. Much like Asriel was when I first rescued him...minus the severe depression. Here I was actually wishing for conversation...wanting to be social. Guess it really was just a phase for me. It seemed too early for Asriel to hit his rebellious phase. He was stlll a few years off from being a teenager. I wasn't sure how he'd take middle school. So what was the problem? If there even was a problem? "It couldn't be his grades. He's top of the class in all subjects. It couldn't be family problems. They're all incredibly happy and nothing has really gone wrong for them. No bumps in the road." It's puzzling. No concrete evidence...just a lack of evidence if anything. "I hate this." I said to myself. What I was thinking had to be absurd. Yet...it wasn't impossible for friends to fall out. It wasn't impossible for relationships to weaken and fade. It wasn't impossible for the magic to go out of people's lives. No. This can't happen to Asriel and me. We're...good friends, right? We're...a...family. Right? "He'll...come around. It's just a bumpy spot in the road." I couldn't deny that I was overdue for rough times. I hadn't had a single thing go sour between us. The closest I'd come was losing my temper from Violet's stupid jab at the anagram of his name. He forgave me for that. Really, though. When I thought about it...I had lied to his mother, Toriel. I had kept the truth from Undyne. Even though I spilled my secrets to Alphys, I had given her an answer...and we both agreed it couldn't be used to save monsters; it would really mess things up if we even thought about a mass exodus to Fontraile. It would not only ruin the timeline, it would also mean that Monsters would have to slowly lose their magic. Not as fast as Asriel, mind you...but it would mean that they'd have to become something other than Monster. Most would become Hybrids. Others like the Skeletons? Ones that couldn't really be classified as animal or traditional beast like Loox, Vegetoid, Moldsmal, and so forth...how would they adapt? What would they become? Would it even be possible for them to adapt? Then there was Asgore. I think the lie I perpetuated around him was probably the hardest for me to stomach. I looked him in the eyes and openly discussed things that hit him hard, while letting him think I was one of his many subjects; a Monster of the Underground. Then I had the gall to basically tell him he HAD to fight the human...to fight Frisk. By trying to preserve the timeline I had only succeeded in remixing it. I knew what this was. I was feeling my sins crawl on and up my back. Maybe...maybe it was time that I should face the music. Maybe it was time to start being punished. There were a lot of ways I could be punished for my choices...but...no. Life should leave Asriel out of it. Our friendship shouldn't be something to be taken away. That's not...that's.......not.........fair. Sub-Entry 273: "Gadget is Growing Up": "Good-bye, brother! I'll be back later!" It pained me to say it, but I had to say it. "Don't stay out too late." If I had this much apprehension with my little sister going out on her own and having fun with her friends...how was I going to handle the twins when they got to be teenagers. How did I handle Elektra when she started dating? Oh...right. Jon was her first and only. So I guess I only had to worry about the twins. I'm getting off track. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I should be happy for her but...when family starts wanting their independence...it's not easy to let them grow apart from you in order to discover who they want to be. Furthermore...it was happening at a pretty inconvenient time. I was still trying to figure out where I stood with Azzy. Being alone was nothing new. I'd spent so much time in solitude over missions I was almost tempted to start nicknaming myself "Lone Wulf". And no, that wasn't a mispell. It was an attempt at being edgy. Like those bands that always name themselves something ironically and screw up the letters to make it cool. Okay...I've officially reached that point when parents try to get into what interests their kids...only for them to suddenly dismiss it as "no longer cool". Or as I called it...the "Chinpokomon Weakness". I sighed and headed to Mitzi's She was Gadget's closest friend; considering the age difference. Maybe she'd have advice to give. I entered Rock-Afire Pizza. Huh? No greeting, Mitzi? No "Hello, Commander?" "Mitzi?" It was like she barely noticed anyone had entered at all-- The door opened behind me as Felicia brushed past, not even excusing herself. "Mitzi, can I get a quickie order for the researchers? Turns out the refrigerator in the break room went bad and all our lunches spoiled so...I offered to get pizza and such." "Sure thing! I can get it ready ASAP." Seriously? Neither of them was going to give me the time of day? That's...a snub I wouldn't expect from even Violet. "I'll call you on your cell phone when your order's ready to pick up." "You're wonderful, Mitzi!" "..." And like that Felicia was gone. I half-coughed. "Hmm?" "Mitzi? If it's not too much trouble? I'd like to talk to you." Okay I was a little testy but...I was entitled to at least acknowledgement, right? "Oh. Sorry." I guess so. "So...what did you want to talk about?" "I need advice. About Gadget?" "Um...yeah? She's not having any problems, is she?" Mitzi wiped the counter down, not looking up at me. Okay. Tell me that there wasn't just a bit of rudeness here? "Well...she's growing up and--" "Commander, really. You've got to stop being such a worry-wort." "But...!" "Look, she's at that age that it's normal to start dating." D-D-Dating?! Did she say the dread D-D-D-word?! "..." "You're just going to have to adjust to it. You resist change so much it's a wonder you didn't become a factory worker." Ouch. "That' a little harsh, Mitzi." "...sorry." I sighed. She didn't SOUND sorry. "Well, have you ever looked at things from Nermal's point of view? Consider when you were Gadget's age. It wasn't easy for her to let you go a little at a time." "..." "That's all I'm getting at. You don't have to drop her out of the nest all at once. It's not like birds learning to fly. But you do have to grow out of it, just as she has to grow into it." I could't believe I wasn't getting any more sympathy than this. I guess I should have kept that in mind considering I was talking to someone who wasn't even dating let alone had kids of her own. Maybe it was a little rude of me...but what did she know about being a parent? Whoah. Where did that come from? I'm...just a little stressed. That's all. "Commander, she'll be fine." Sub-Entry 274: "The Return of Commander Miles Prowler": "Commander Volt! Did you hear the news?" "What news?" "Miles is coming back from the frontlines! The Commander's returning home!" All this time, I've been minding the flock. Everyone had spent so much time calling me Commander, even after my retirement from UCIAT. Even for the past year. They had somehow succeeded at getting me into the mentality that I was still the leader. So now they were going to yank the rug out form under me? Nah...that wasn't fair to say. I'd stayed for a while and it was time. Besides...maybe it would do me some good to see how Miles had grown up. I wonder if it still annoyed him to be called by his old nickname? By now...I'm sure he's grown out of it. Right? "Yeah...that's...great." I tried to agree. I guess I'd never really let it sink in. I'm sure it has been said...rather explained. I mean Miles' story. He was among the Ecotropians. He was born within days before the city was blown off the map. I'd heard conflicting stories who took him into his, her, or their care. But what I did know was that he'd successfully cross the borders into the country of Neo Arcadia. From there I'd understood he was put into child reclaimation services. No living parents and a very severe lack of Ecotropian refugees in physical, mental, or emotional condition to care for him. There were complications and stumbling blocks. To be quite honest...it was shame to admit he was pinball-ed around between this guy and that guy, this agency and that. Without making excuses for the warring times...he was swept up in the system until... ...until somehow in between his various processing glitches, his aptitude was tested. He should have ended up in specialized school with a scholarship lined up to put him into our world's Ivy League, years and years in advance. Instead, a shadow organization made up of defectors from Vorostov, with their own self-interests in mind, started a program called Alphabet Soup. This led to Miles being taken into this splinter government's custody along with other child geniuses such as Kayla--now known as Dr. K and her collegues, Gem and Gemma. On a related note, it was said that Gadget's control group of lab mice were named in their honor, but that's a story for another day. This of course led to mistakes in our own back yard such as the Venjix virus and other projects that weren't officially declassified but had in fact leaked to certain individuals. When the program was uprooted and dismantled (at least according to official reports given to the public), Dr. K vacated Corinth in the company of one of the people she employed during the Venjix Virus outbreak. Miles on the other hand was liberated by the Arcade Foundation. By then he was nipping at adulthood. For an unspecified time he worked at a think tank. A couple decades would go by as my team was commissioned and we had our own long and winding adventures on Fontraile. Then came the day I passed the torch. While the specifics of my tale, as I rode off into the sunset remain classified, Miles began making a name for himself as my successor; Ultra Crew Institute Action Team's commander. As brilliant as he ever was and as capable or more so than me. I left my team in good hands while I laid the foundation of the Institute for Future Technology. Which had happened and was happening now in this...wonky space-time. "Huh." Sure enough there was a crowd around the UCIAT building. I didn't want to shove my way through the crowd...I still felt I was too polite for that...but...I wasn't finding any other way. But wait! I superconduct. Duh. So I lifted off the ground and got a bird's eye view. There he was. Wow. Had he grown. He'd grown taller than me. When he was in that shirt, jeans and vest (that seemed to pay homage to both Sally and...that guy), he looked about my build. But to those lucky women who'd catch a rare moment with his shirt off, he outclassed me in physique. Even with my enhanced werewolf strength. I mean...he wasn't blatently muscle-bound but...yeah. It was immediately obvious. Those white gloves. Custom high tops...way different yet so similar as his Prime Universe counterpart. Two tails. Hence why Bunnie called him an honorary "kitsune"; a "nibi" to be exact--Jangese for "two-tails". His name was Miles Prowler. One letter spelling away from his Mobius counterpart--Miles Prower. While the difference in appearance was incredible, the difference in other ways was subtle. Still. Was he a "Tails" without a...certain blue hedgehog in high tops around? On our world, it didn't matter. We were our own thing that just happened to have a lot of huge coincidences with other worlds. That's...what I was led to believe and that's what I had a hard time disputing. It really spoke to my Umbilical Cord Theory (UCT). What was the invisible connections between our world and countless others? Why were we seemingly THE crossover universe? I'm geting off track. Miles. What was the same? What was different? I suppose it was his eyes that were the most similar if not the same. His big blue eyes. They were the kindest eyes I'd seen...at least until Asriel came into our lives. "Excuse me? Mr. Prowler?" What? Asriel? Here? "Hmm? Oh! You must be Asriel! I've heard a great deal bout you." He graciously shook Asriel's hand. "Sooo umm...this is a little embarrassing but...could I have your autograph?" ...... Okay...that was...something. Asriel had never asked for my autograph. It's...it's okay. I was the past. Miles was the present. He was making a legacy now. I...didn't need the recognition. Really. I didn't. I had three options and one of them was really stupid. FIrst, and most stupidly, let jealousy get the best of me and do something drastic and disappoint my best friend, my crew, my family, and everyone else; tarnishing UCIAT's image. Second, I could just salvage my fragile ego and just head off, with my tail between my legs and just...hope no one noticed I was there. Third...I could try to be the bigger man and welcome Tails back and hope that-- The crowd began to dispurse as Miles went into the building and waved goodbye. I guess...do nothing. Asriel hopped on his hoverboard and zipped off, with autograph in hand. Well. No matter. I still...had things to do in the Underground. I'll...get back in his good graces again. I mean...it's not like I'm in the doghouse for something I did...right? I didn't forget something important or break my word, right? "It's really...not something I did...is it?" Sub-Entry 275: "W.D. Gaster's Warning" I decided to drop in on the Underground and see how Frisk was progressing. With Miles in town, I felt I could leave it in good hands. Besides...it didn't look like anyone was going to come running to me asking for help. Yeah...heh....heh... I loaded up the Time Train and parked it at the summit of the mountain...and sure enough I did find some holes at the peak. I'd have to get creative to find my way back outside of Mount Ebott. These entrances and the one at the mouth of the Ruins. Well...if this worked I'd find my way back in Waterfall again. If I had time to spare, I'd head to Hotland. Welp. Bombs away! I electromorphed, squeezing through one of the holes where traces of snow were evident and surged through. As I came out the other end pierced through the barrier and continued in a free-fall toward Waterfall below. I hit the ground with a shockwave before reconstituting into my solid form. I'm pretty sure I delivered a strong zap to the surrounding bodies of water. I just hope I didn't hurt anything or anyone. I needed LV like a kick in the head AND the arse, fella'. So which of Vi's WWE Superstars was I channeling this time? I guess I did need the comedy all things considered. With so much weighing down on me, I felt like if I didn't break the funk with something silly, I was going to break down and cry. I of course dropped in on Napstablook, yet again. I really took a shine to that ghost. Seriously...was there recorded evidence in history that werewolves and ghosts had an easy time getting along or was I the first instance? I guess if you counted Jon's old Darkstalker friend, the Jhang-Xi, Hsienko, that...counted...I think? Though...she was more of a stiff corpse or oriental zombie for lack of better comparison. What a tangent to go off on, huh? I guess this was the sign that I was really forcing the lightheartedness. "Napstablook...do you have any advice for someone who...feels like a family member or...friend is drifting away?" "Ohhhh.....that's a...sad thing to think about...but.......I suppose I do understand... The time that Cousin Hapstablook went to follow his dreams.. I know he said...that he didn't want to become corporeal......but...I guess I did not know how he really felt... That was...insensitive of me... Ohhhhh noooooo..." "No, my friend. You couldn't have known." "....when...he left.....he dropped his key somewhere... And I never saw him again...until Mettaton TV came around......" "Yeah. I follow." "I'm....sorry....I shouldn't be talking so much about my problems...." "It's...okay. I don't think I'm ready to talk about my problems. Be my guest and tell me more about yours." "...but...you are...my guest." "I insist. If it helps you feel better, I'll listen as long as you'll let me. That will make me feel better." "Ohh...very well..." So I listened until Napstablook told me everything he had to say. I comforted. I shared the last of my music CD's from Violet and Sally's collaborations together. I joined him in a session of feeling like trash as the cosmos seemed to swallow us up. Then I bid him farewell. But first I decided to have a look around Waterfall for a bit. "Huh? This shouldn't be--" The hallway. With the door. "Gaster." With that the door swung open and practically sucked me into it. No..it really WAS sucking me into it! "Not cool, Doctooooooor!" When my vision cleared up, I was in the void again. "Dr. Gaster. I know you're here. What do you want?" Gut instinct told me this incarnation was no better than the previous one. "Doctor. I have no time for games. Show yourself." Had...my temper gotten shorter? I looked around, walked around the whole area...until I realized it went on to infinity. "Lovely. Now I can't even see where the door was." I turned to leave and there he was. A lot more tangible than the first time. A cover-all robe that looked like a black labcoat, a white collar extending up out of it. His arms were behind his back and his expression was actually...dour. No. More like stoic. "Get to the point, Doctor. Or let me return to where you kidnapped me." "You were not supposed to return to this world." "That sounds like the opposite of a friendly welcome. What was I supposed to do? I took a monster prince out of his environment with no knowledge of how to care for him or help him. I needed to know more about the people in his life. I needed to interact with them and find out what made them tick. What made Asriel tick. What you had the gall to turn a blind eye to!" I pointed at his misshapen right eye. "Why would I meddle in meaningless affairs?" "So you did abandon him." "As I should have. His fate was nigh. You defied that fate for your own--" "Don't you even GO THERE!" I roared. "You would have let him die with this world. He's not a thing, he's a person with feelings and worth!" "He's just a piece of a world which served no purpose. When that world's existence ended, all of its parts had to end with it." "Are you part of that world?" I asked. "Do not distract from the matter at hand." "You're not the one controlling this conversation, Gaster. But control was something you never had, was it? Maybe you should tell the truth of how you fell into your creation. Maybe you'd like to explain a little something about...Entry 17?" "This is not about me--" "But it should be. Show me your hands, Doctor. Why don't you tell me what caused those holes in them?" I started to hit a little below the belt at that point. In retrospect I should probably be disappointed in myself. But...I wasn't about to let this go. "That's private." "You weren't much of a caretaker for Asriel. Is there something you want to tell me?" That was something I hadn't forgiven him for. "What are you getting at?" "How about two skeletons in Snowdin Town. What are you to them? Father? Creator?" The implication cut deep. I was this close to suggesting experiments that involved cutting into their eye sockets with lasers...but then again, that felt like channeling something from some other AU. "You are crossing a line you are not meant to approach." "Is Sans really trying to find you? Or is he glad you're out of his life--" "ENOUGH!" Gaster spread his arms out as his eyes lit up--one orange, one blue. Yup. The glove was thrown down. "...I thought so." I frowned. "I guess we both fail as creators, parents, and everything else. I'm going to raise Asriel to the light; whether I make the journey with or without him. You can either assist me or get the Hell out of my way. I think you know it would be a stand off between us if we were to fight." I had a lot of unresolved issues with Gaster. This was a long time coming. Even in a Pacifist Timeline...he was a jerk. A pompous jerk who put his research above the life of a scared little boy who had been stopped from making a bad choice. No quarter. No mercy. He just let him suffer in his own sadness. "For once in your non-life, Gaster. Do the right thing." "Your delusion of "the right thing" will only lead to tragedy. But very well. Do not say you were not warned." "I'm the one who gives warnings, Gaster. I've been around the space-time-dimension block as long or longer than you. Learn this and learn this well. I refuse to be Madam Fate's b--(FLOWEY CACKLE)." It suddenly came to me. "The Wraith is your fault you know. But it's more than that. Chara wouldn't tell me what your connection to her is. Why don't you come clean and admit what you did with her?" "Arcade!" He snapped. "What REALLY powers the core? You know...I did have a theory that DT was more than just something you studied for the heck it it." I was implying that Chara's soul was the power source. It made sense...but I didn't really think that was the case. If it was the power source then the Core shouldn't even be functioning right now. It was not. At least not in this AU's collective of timelines. Maybe in ANOTHER Undertale AU... However the implication was more than enough to strike a nerve with Gaster. He was at least responsible for doing...something. He was definitely responsible for letting the Wraith out of whatever corner of the Void it crawled out of. He was guilty of something far worse than anything I had pulled. "Stop!" "Why don't you tell me about the previous timeline? Why don't you tell me how a child's soul mysteriously vanishes when the Prince DIDN'T absorb it in that instance? How was Chara's Soul able to emerge again for the previous Frisk to partner up with 100 years later and nearly complete the Genocide Run only to pop up in THIS timeline? What experiments did you carry out on their soul, Gaster? How did they escape you and continue the Wraith's plan?" Gaster was seething but I could tell he was hiding things. "Maybe Sans has a right to hate your guts." That came out of left field but it was the one that did the job. Gaster didn't want any more of what I had to say. "If only you know how dangerous that determination of yours is. Go then." The door reappeared. "But first..." Gaster grabbed me and thrust his other palm into me hard. I think I felt all the wind get knocked out of me. There was a massive discharge of static and distortions in time and space. That's when my equipment and my bracer started giving me errors. When I ran diagnostics, I'd discovered my previous save marker I'd left in Asgore's castle was wiped clean and the option to set new ones was off line. Other features were deactivated too. "What the Hell?!" "You will not have the chance to circumvent the harsh lessons you are in for. Like the flower prince, you are not ready for the responsibility. When your time comes you'll pay the price as you were meant to." "You've really let yourself go, passing judgement on me, Doctor. Who passed judgement on you? Oh right. You were sucked into your own creation and forgotten." "Do you not realize you are not above the consequences?" "Do you?! This timeline has a chance...a real chance to become a true happy ending. Every moment you stall me from my mission, you endanger everyone else's future. You want to talk selfishness? How selfish can you be? You know what? Why don't we talk about what you unleashed upon this world." That, I could tell really pissed him off. He was aware of his careless mistake. "It wasn't enough that you got involved with the first fallen child, but it's your fault they became a host for something not of any recorded world. It's your fault the Boss Monsters became its playthings. Maybe it was also your fault the Core exploded and took you and several monsters with you." He was beyond seething by this point. But he wasn't denying it. I had my cross to bear. He had his...if he ever chose to. It wasn't enough to be exiled from time. Arrogant of me to say so...I was at least trying to correct what I was doing. I wasn't about to fail. Even Alphys really wanted to fix her mistakes. All she needed was the courage to do so. All she needed was to bring herself to justice and face the consequences. Chances are I was already doing just that. Whatever the two of us would have to suffer, it was okay as long as Fate left our loved ones out of it. "We're done here." I turned and stormed off. "You and Sans are too much alike. You both had the power to stop things from happening...but you didn't." I stopped before the door. "You've proven my theory, Gaster." "Theory?" "That Monsters give up too easily. On themselves, on each other, on their world...on the hope of a better tomorrow. How long did it take you to fall apart when you realized you couldn't go back?" "Do not be presumptuous." "You've been watching the King and Queen self-destruct in timeline after timeline. You've seen the outcomes of many of them. What happened in the ones where Papyrus inherited the crown after so many boss monsters fell? What happened when another human came to the Underground? How did the monsters react? Did they welcome the human...or did they see them as another soul to use?" I turned and looked over my shoulder. "Maybe you can tell me, yourself, why the River Person told me to 'beware the man who speaks in hands'." Gaster glowered at me. That was the final straw. "I guess we really are done here." I unloaded on him pretty bad. A lot of it was on me. A lot of it was unfair of me. But I had to vent or these anxieties would eat me up inside. I would likely never see Gaster again. My chance to apologize was out the window after I stepped out that door. I walked out and headed out of Waterfall back to where I left the Delorean. Sub-Entry 276: "Festival of the Rabbit, Second Go": Well, I finally made good on my promise. A year later and Asriel was finally able to participate. And what a day it was. I just wish I didn't feel so...left out. I know I'm not a rabbit and all...but I'd at least thing Asriel would have shared the experience with me. Saved a chocolate egg or two for me. "Finally! I was almost tired of waiting a whole year." Asriel cheered. "Almost." He said as his cyan eyes gave it a way. He could wait another two years and it wouldn't make a difference. "Are you sure, this is okay?" Gadget said as she carefully pulled Asriel's ears up and over top his head and fit a hair scrunchie over them and held them in place...like a rabbit's. "If it starts cutting off the blood flow, I'll take it off, big sis." Heh. "Well, as of now...you're an honorary rabbit!" "Yaaaay!" He was so happy. So why...why wasn't he letting me be happy with him? It wasn't just imagination anymore. He made sure he didn't look in my direction even once. It was like a taunt. But...I still couldn't bring myself to blame him. "Someone's...making you do this, right? You...aren't really just pushing me away by your own volition....were you?" "You talking to yourself? Weirdo." Some kid brushed past me. Rude. I'd never seen so many hybrid rabbits and collections of rabites gathered together. There Bunnie was, giving horse rides atop Hinohoshiko. She looked so...country in that outfit. I guess this is what Southern Ecotropian belles wore. Colored egg hunt. THe staple of it all. A simplified scavenger hunt for hard boiled eggs dyed in pretty colors. Of course I thought about Temmie Village. Egg rolling contests. Yeah...it was...kinda of cliche but fitting. I wanted to express my fascination with more enthusiasm but...the vibe I kept getting was like I was being pushed away without actually being pushed away. Like I was being made to feel as uncomfortable as possible in my home town...adopted home town. Horse riding. Well, yeah. I just said that. I watched from outside the imaginary glass wall that divided me from everyone who was having fun. It was then I suddenly came to the realization. "...I've become Chara." At least...that's what I assumed her life was like. Like she couldn't get any attention. No. What she went through had to be far worse...before she came to the Underground she never had a family or friends who cared about her. But maybe it was worse for me. I had friends and family...and I was losing the before my very eyes. I was being treated like a starving dog, teased with a steak on a rope that kept being pulled up as I lunged for it. God...I was speaking in Jon's metaphors now. "This is wrong." I turned away so I wouldn't torture myself any further with so much happiness.......happiness at my expense. Plus...I didn't want to speak such selfish comments like I just now wrote down. Was I actually debating whether it was my fault this was happening...or theirs? I'm falling. I'm falling down. It all feels wrong when the trust is gone. :detemmienation: (Music Link) Festival of the Rabbit should be a day that Asriel and I should share together. I wasn't asking Asriel to worship the ground I walked on. Far from it; in fact I'd pretty much beg him not to. But I didn't want to be isolated from him like this. What was going on? By the end of the day...I hadn't received a single piece of chocolate, been asked to help out, or even take part in the games. What a downer. I won't go into specifics but every attempt to speak with Bunnie ended with less than friendly results. She wasn't just snubbing me...she was bordering on rude. My former second in command had drifted apart from me. She gave me her word that she'd stand by me. Even when Miles took over, she was shy of a blood oath to prove her loyalty to me. This made no sense. Why, Bunnie? Why? Sub-Entry 277: "The Secret" Asriel was officially spending more and more time with Bunnie and less and less with me. It's been going on at a stead pace. But now it had gone from slight indifference to very blatent. "That's good, Asriel. Keep it up." I leaned up against the doorway and watched. I hadn't been greeted by anyone. Not Asriel, not Bunnie, not even Megami (though I doubt I'd understand much of what she said.). "Ex-Commander, could you please wait outside. You're distracting Asriel's concentration." What? This was the first time she called me Ex-Commander. A year ago I wouldn't have mind but...the sting I felt from the way she said it... "..." I turned and left. "...you're making great progress. Your next belt is closer than you think." "Thank you, sensei." "No. Thank you. You've given me so much hope for the future. Through you, my clan's teachings will live and thrive. One day you shall be the sensei and may take on students of your own." "Me? A teacher?" A pause. "Mom...Toriel always wanted to be a teacher." "I think it would honor her memory." I sighed as I started to walk away. "Sensei?" "Yes, Asriel?" "When will we be able to tell him?" My ears perked up. A secret? "It is not time. The less he knows." Were they talking about me? "No more words. The walls have eyes...and ears." Okay, she definitely knew I was listening, even from that far away. And then the conversation ceased. "Asriel and Bunnie are keeping secrets from me?" I had no right to complain. I kept far too many secrets to even think about turning this around on them. But...really. What did they have to hide from me? I was the one in the position to protect them from the dangers they weren't aware of. What wasn't I aware of? "What's with everyone, lately?" The must have a reason for keeping me out of the dark. Being snubbed by your friends is never a good feeling. But as long as the trust was there, then...it shouldn't matter...right? I suppose it didn't help that Gaster wasn't very asssuring. He was an improvement over the previous incarnation of him that I had met. Definitely...more solid. He at least resembled a skeleton and not a nebulous blotch in the air with disembodied hands. But the vibes were less warm than Nikita Lynx. What did he mean? "Doctor, you and I both have a lot to answer for...but didn't my intentions count for something? What was it that you intended for the Underground?" Was he as mad as things seemed to paint him? Was I just as much so? Sub-Entry 278: "A Scientist's Woes": I'd like to apologize if this entry has a lack of action and recorded dialogue. I've gotten away with that in my earliest entries. But frankly when you have a lack of anything to report on, you just feel the need to convey what's on your mind. What's eating you. What brought you to this point. Why it's all come to this. Gaster, Alphys, and I sure had our fair share of hardships as scientists. Some were hard to compare. I mean, how do you compare getting sucked into your own creation--the Core--and get erased from time and space...to creating almagamate "abominations" and a murder-flower with extracted Determination...to inadvertantly setting in motion a sequence of events that led to the Sigma Virus conquering countless other dimension through the Unity Engines" only to be completely useless when his tampering with the already fragile fabric of time and space as all of those realms started to collapse on themselves. In the end a techno-phobic, terrorist leader saved everything by tearing a Genesis Portal into the past and decompiling the Sigma Virus before it even found its way to Eggman's secret base on the Lost Hex. Boom. Homemade Reset. Why does ACM-001 and ACM-002 keep having so much in common with the UTPR timelines in ways that wouldn't be obvious to anyone else but we scientists experienced in chronostructure? But listing that screw up was second or maybe third to the Second Super Genesis Wave. However...the crowning blunder...no...calamity that hung around my neck was the horrible sequence of events that a certain former partner had caused, which resulted in the eradication of an entire galaxy once known in the Space Time Continuum as UD-000-017. But everyone called it the Pocket Universe; a realm of more anime than the UltraVerse and a lot more Japanese counterparts to our worlds. I guess to be blunt, I let our own sister dimension die and I still lived with the shame while my arch enemy wallowed in the chaos of the entropy he had sewn in the wake of my failure. It was the incident which proved everything I warned the Council about was right. Completely right. Conversely, the InfinityVerse paid the price then and still pays the price now. It was my discovery, and while many of those I had shared the secret with ended up being a mistake...this was a mistake that was made against my wishes by those who I begged and pleaded not to go through with. It was that very recommendation which would sow the seeds of betrayal and lead my former partner down the path to become my deadliest and bitterest enemy. There's no frustration quite like being punished for your superiors' choices. This was a scenario that rang a familiar bell; I knew what it was like to be Chance Furlong and Jake Clawson--now calling themselves the Swat Kats--they day they were kicked out of the Enforcers and busted down to a lifetime of community service at a military scrapyard. They were pursuing Dark Kat and had a lock. One missile would have ended the super-villain. Yet when it came to go time, they were ordered to back off by their superior, Commander Feral. They were already locked on. Feral's next move resulted in the two of them crash landing. In the process, the Enforcer HQ building was destroyed and Feral blamed them for it. This is a pet peeve that I hate with a passion--when the egos of those in charge gets in the way of their duty. When they value glory-hogging over the advice of those who might know something they don't. The Council ignored my warnings...and a our sister universe paid the price. Collectively, several trillion, maybe quadrillion lives were on our agency's collective heads. Our then newly-sworn enemy and traitor was laughing all the way to the bank, with all of their blood on his hands. I suffered the fallout. But that's a tale for another time...maybe. The woes of a scientist. Most of us start out pretty optimistic. Not really seeking to change the world but to understand it. Isn't that the definition of pure science? To ask questions and study what's around you in the hopes of finding the answers that the InfinityVerse hides in plain view? To collect knowledge and archive it so that applied science can do something with it? There was risk involved, sticking your nose where no one else probably would; in places and in situations which could get you in a lot of trouble. To summarize...being an explorer tended to leave you empty-handed and with more questions than answers. On that note, applied science carried its own risks. When you take what you learn and try to apply it to make life better. And let's face it. There are a lot of fields of science that you can direct that knowledge. Each with its own untapped potential. Each with its own consequences. Back in Neo Arcadia, Odie spoke of the responsibility that came with the complete knowledge of both sets of information stored within a DNA ladder. Geneticists, for decades had only been seeing what was on the surface. From just that knowledge alone, basic cloning and genetic manipulation became possible. But what would this new data allow us to achieve? Would be we able to pre-determine how a living being's personality would develop even before birth? Just thing of how that kind of control over life could be abused. It scared me. It really did. And that's just manipulating life. What about something closer to my field? My mentor's and my theories opened up time, space, and dimension travel. Yes, it even led to the great discovery that led me to immortality. That's a holy grail that, from the beginning, I knew didn't belong in everyone's hands. By now you're starting to catch on where this is going. By now you're starting to see my resentment for the Council. By now you know the source of my greatest triumph...and greatest shame. This month had worn away at me. Everything's starting to spiral out of control. I'm starting to see the fate it's pulling me toward. Sub-Entry 279: "Arcade Muyo (No Need For Volt)": So that's it...the whole ball of wax. It has come to this. My best friend was actively avoiding me and saying very little to me. Bunnie has become stern with me without warning or explanation. Miles has come back from the front lines and is now leading the team. This stupid month has been filled with rain, shame, and pain. Gaster sure didn't do anything for my hope and his warning only made me widen the 1% error I had spoken of a long while ago when deciding the fate of Monsters. I stopped first by Rabbotou Dojo. I wasn't even invited in to watch. This had never happened before. Megami always let me in. The doors didn't even open...I wasn't about to open them, myself without invitation. So I left. "What is going on?" I stopped by Computer Valhalla. I tried to sign in. I got an error message stating the system was under maintenance and I should come back later. If was unable to sign in, Violet wasn't going to let me enter. "You too, Violet? You at least always have time to mess with me..." I tried searching for Sally. "Hey!" ...but she blew right past me without even noticing me. Ouch. Just ouch. I could have sworn I saw Lupe at the Nature Preserve but... I sniffed around. I was certain I caught her scent but...no...too many flowers in the way. "Why...?" Pit was off to his home Realm. Scott and Callista were on assignment. Jon had fallen asleep at the park. He even stopped inviting me to the lunar cookouts. He was family. You just don't...do that to your father-in-law. As I tried each and every member of my former team, I was in for disappointment after disappointment. "Why are you all trying so hard to stay away from me? What did I do? What did I say?" Even my own family. Lisa wasn't returning my calls. Elektra was flooding me with "Not now, Dad." at every turn. Even my own twin daughters were acting like I was just "so uncool". That alone was a kick below the belt. What rubbed salt in the would was that I couldn't even get in contact with the founders. Long distance calls? Put on hold. Video conference? No one picked up. Attempts to fly out to Neo Arcadia? I'd learn they weren't even in the country when I tried to make arrangements. I was beaten down. I knew it was bad when Antoine of all people began to feel sorry for me...but he'd walk off after the condescending taunt and go about his business. This was the bottom of the barrel. I was more pathetic than Antoine. I don't even know how it came to this. But I think the last straw came when... "Asriel!" He definitely saw me. He definitely heard me. He definitely made eye contact. But what he did't do was say howdy. In fact. He turned away and headed in the opposite direction. "Don't go! Please! Talk to me! I can't help you if you keep running away from me!" I followed him until... "Volt...don't you have anything better to do?" No. Way. He didn't just say that. "Asriel, I--" "I think I should give this back." Asriel disengaged his bracer and handed it to me. "But...! But why...?!" "I don't think it's a good idea for us to be together." "Azzy..." "Maybe...we shouldn't be friends anymore." He turned and walked...no he ran away. I dropped to my knees and hung my head. This feeling. What was this feeling? I balled my hand up into a fist...and slugged the ground. I know what this feeling is... "You...all of you..." It's anger...no...it's hate. I hate this. This feeling was being insulted. I was being cast aside. No. I was not going to let him be right. I was not going to admit that this happened like he said it would... I know I said this was a safe haven for me to drop in on in between my ongoing missions. But maybe I didn't emphasize the temporary aspect of it. "If that's the way it's going to be..." I decided. It was time to leave. The mission goes on. "Farewell, Fontraile. It was...fun while it lasted." I was an agent of S.T.C. first and foremost. The council wanted me to abandon my past? Well here it is. I was a blank slate from this moment on. Sub-Entry 280: "The Beginning of the End of the Beginning...": Well. It's been a slice for how long it's lasted. I guess I always knew all good things must come to an end. I just wish it wasn't so bittersweet. I was never supposed to remember I had an origin. I was never supposed to have a home once I was busted down to field agent. I was a number in a database. I was a code name with a PhD. This is who I am. Nothing more. I sat down outside my shop to put on my sandals. *SNAP* "Ugh...terrific." The ankle strap on my right sandal just broke. What a pain. If I didn't have at least one spare pair in my shop, I'd be a lot more ticked. I turned to go back inside. "A broken sandal strap is a bad omen in ancient Jang." I wasn't having any of this. "What do you care?" Bunnie wasn't phased. "Is that the response I can expect from you?" "Considering the responses I've come to expect from you, lately...are you really that surprised?" "Disappointing." "No, what's disappointing is how uppity you've gotten for no apparent reason and you haven't even dropped a hint at what I've done that's so wrong. It must be wonderful living in a world where you assume everyone has the same level of insight as you." "You know less than you think you know." "At least now I know where your loyalties stand. It was the lowest of blows. You couldn't be satisfied enough to turn your back on me. You had to steal a friendship, too." "You are being presumptuous." "I am a man with very little left to lose. So why don't I spell it out. I'm losing my best friend and no one seems to be in the least bit concerned. I know he's keeping a secret from me, in spite of me keeping a heck of a lot of secrets from him. But I at least had the courtessey to tell him that I had secrets to keep and would reveal them at the proper time. He's hiding the fact that he's even keeping one and expecting me not to notice. My former second-in-command has decided to treat me me as if I was one of the head researchers at Vortex Labs that left permanent permanent scars on and in her. I've been replaced; I though that would never be an issue but it's become one. I would have been happy to at least been let down easy, maybe at least still be treated like an old friend and not just some guy to drop in and be thrown out when the leader actually shows his face. Gaster basically told me that everything I've done in the Underground was for nothing. I have an arch-nemesis out there who's been tampering with very critical parts of the time stream--which I might add doesn't just affect me, but a staggering number of people in this town...on this world alone. I have been absolutely OSTRACIZED, bordering on completely excommunicated by my entire crew which only seems to lend credibility that my entire crew is in on previously said secret. On top of all that, the Council is breathing down my neck and about to yank me out of this mission for reasons well beyond comprehension. It's all falling apart and I can't even get a word of sympathy!" "........" "Don't waste your look of disapproval on me. Someone give me a clue. Spell it out. Now. Or we're done here." Bunnie responded in Jangese. I kicked open my door, went in, grabbed my spare set of sandals, put them on and stormed back outside. "I guess my place is in the Underground." I brushed past Bunnie, all but shoving her to the ground. I produced the remote control for the Deloreon. I brought it to the fountain, parked it and got in. "If I still had the authority...you'd be FIRED on the spot." I gave her a hurtful glare then closed the door and lifted off the ground in hover conversion. Then I shot the machine straight upward like a rocket, disappearing once I hit 88 MPH. I wasn't sure if I was ever coming back. At least any time soon. It seemed that life had made the decision for me; this was likely Asriel's permanent home now But that wasn't going to stop me from at least trying to cultivate UTPR-3224 for him to return to. The way I was feeling...it was less "return to your loved ones" and more "if we were ever really friends, then you won't come back". At least I could count on the Boss Monsters for some hospitality. I was going to need it if I was going to go all the way to Asgore. With my save markers disabled from my encounter with Gaster, it was going to be a long haul. This was it, wasn't it? The beginning of the end? It wasn't at all what I was expecting. I definitely didn't want to go out like this...on such a sour note. It wasn't the first time I left a world on bad terms. I'd worry about making amends down the road. As it stood, I don't think anyone was going to miss me. "..." "He's gone, isn't he?" "His path is clouded. He is not wrong though...we have caused him very deep pain." "...Sensei?" "No. It is too soon." "..." "Come. It is time." Bunnie led to behind my shop toward the alley where the Martial Science runes were already glowing. She applied the final strokes and the gateway opened. "You have everything?" "Yes." "Nothing else needs to be said." Bunnie took Asriel's hand and disappeared through the portal... To Be Continued... Chapter 29 Back to Part 3 Back to Project: Lost Dreemurr